I commend your courage for publishing this piece of astonishingly great satire. Be careful where you post it, our best and brightest might be enthusiastic about signing up.
This was funny as hell and at the same time tragic.
I hope your account stays active. If you vanish in the night, we’ll have a good idea who carted you off. Stay safe. Sadly, I’m not kidding.
It was so good it hurt me. I was taking damage…started skimming hoping this wasn’t real. Thank God I saw MyPillow🤣 I could relax. My people. I’m on sacred ground.
As an American, I can attest that it was never safe here, our system was always fundamentally broken, and the corrupt bigoted rich have always been in charge. But also we never had fascism taken over and it's never been this openly, undeniably bad. Ty for sharing the truth, we need the support and awareness more than we can say. I appreciate you for this 🖤
No. I read your article. When you're listing things you can't do in front of ICE, I thought that was the absurdity missing. If you fart, you're gone. Nevermind.
I want to laugh. But it’s so fucking insane how this satire is probably just a word for word copy of a LinkedIn job posting.
There’s a reason why I captured this transmission from March 2026.
5 more months for the satire to become reality.
Roll the dice, Ed. Let’s hope we get lucky.
I’d like to enter the portal to the alternate reality where we defeat fascism please. I’m not sure how I stumbled into the current one.
Omg. This hits.
This was hilarious! I am a fan of satire and this was perfect. Thank you!
I commend your courage for publishing this piece of astonishingly great satire. Be careful where you post it, our best and brightest might be enthusiastic about signing up.
This was funny as hell and at the same time tragic.
I hope your account stays active. If you vanish in the night, we’ll have a good idea who carted you off. Stay safe. Sadly, I’m not kidding.
You’re actually scared of these people? Lol they can’t kill thought. Their attacks are weak.
You had me at MyPillow 🤣😂🤣😁
It was so good it hurt me. I was taking damage…started skimming hoping this wasn’t real. Thank God I saw MyPillow🤣 I could relax. My people. I’m on sacred ground.
As an American, I can attest that it was never safe here, our system was always fundamentally broken, and the corrupt bigoted rich have always been in charge. But also we never had fascism taken over and it's never been this openly, undeniably bad. Ty for sharing the truth, we need the support and awareness more than we can say. I appreciate you for this 🖤
My pleasure.
My duty.
The blade is sharp.
It will continue to slice.
Please visit again.
Subscribed 🐦⬛
Thank you.
Here's one you might respond to...
https://machinepoet.substack.com/p/for-immediate-release-we-solved-security
Post-read:
Marry me :)
Signed,
A Canadian who is sick and tired of reading sad and preventable news
Stand by.
A new passport could soon be required.
🤣🤣🤣
In my head I’m just hearing “Merica, fuck yeah!” and actually missing Dubya
Did you ever think it would be possible to miss Dubya?
He was appointed by God after all.
Thanks for reading, Rachel!
NEVER EVER DID I THINK THIS WOULD BE REALITY.
Machine Poet. Ugh. Why are you so brilliant?
I was on the fence, but the free spicy chicken combo is too juicy (pun intended) to pass up.
This is so effin’ funny! Testimonials are amazing.😂
*instant subscription*
Love this
Dang, beat me to the punch with this humor piece. Laugh instead of cry, thanks for this!
Fuckin’ Chachi rockin’ tacti-cool couture while violating human rights is a darkly funny picture.
Fart... Gone. I was waiting for that one 😄
You were waiting for the fart?
I suppose congratulations are in order.
Error: Does not compute.
No. I read your article. When you're listing things you can't do in front of ICE, I thought that was the absurdity missing. If you fart, you're gone. Nevermind.
You deleted our interaction though.
I just updated to gain clarification.
My apologies.
Now I get it.
And it makes perfect sense.
Homan hates foreign farts.
Did you get recruited by your own ad? Because it is sounding like censorship. I guess the kitchen was irresistible after all.
Also, I wouldn't just go to your comments and say fart without context, what do you think I am? ICE? Dhjezus 🙃
Yeah, that's what I thought 😑